Suppose all through Christmas Week 2008, jets from Green Bay, Wisconsin attacked Yupper targets in the Upper Peninsula (UP) of Michigan.. And then on News Years Day ground troops followed inflicting large numbers of civilian casualties. After three weeks of fighting and a death ratio of more than 100 to 1, a cease fire is achieved..
Here's how it could have happened:
1800-1948: After many years of persecution and dispersion, the Chippewa (Jewish) Tribes attempt to regain their homeland in Wisconsin (Palestine). As self described Freedom Fighters, the Chippewas use terrorism in an effort to drive the European settlers (Palestinians) from Wisconsin. Britain and France feel guilty about the genocide they allowed their European settlers to commit against the Chippewa. They use their military might to establish the Chippewa Nation and assure its world wide recognition. Refugees from Wisconsin are held in Yupper camps in the forested and rocky UP where the prospect of farming is very poor.
1949-1967: After nearly two decades of failed efforts to resettle the refugees, Michigan (Egypt), Illinois (Syria) and Minnesota (West Bank) declare war on the Chippewa Nation to push it into Lake Michigan (Mediterranean Sea) and give Wisconsin back to the refugees. The Chippewas quickly defeat the poorly organized and poorly equipped Americans. Illinois, Michigan and Minnesota all lose territory to the Chippewas. Other American States chose not to participate in the war leading to intense internal tensions among the American states.
1968-73: Political extremism in the Yupper refugee camps continues to grow as a second generation of Wisconsin refugees grows up without a home of their own. Propelled by popular rage, the surrounding American States again attack the Chippewa Nation. And they are again quickly defeated. Embarrassed about its lack of decisive participation in the futile American effort, Texas (Saudi Arabia) leads other oil producing States in an embargo that results in a worldwide energy crisis.
1974-2000: In a peace treaty, Michigan regains sovereignty over part of its territory in return for official recognition of the Chippewa Nation. After no further progress in a generation, despair again grows across the region. Suicide bombings by Yuppers are met with massive retaliation by the Chippewas. More than 20 Yuppers die for each Chip casualty. Civil disobedience and active insurgency becomes the norm in the occupied territories. The Chippewa Air Force regularly bombs terrorist targets and governmental offices in the UP and Minnesota. Periodically the Chippewa Army conducts search and destroy missions in the towns, orchards, and fields-wherever terrorists might be hiding in the western Great Lakes region. Nationalistic Chippewas establish more settlements on the bank of the Mississippi River and out into the Minnesotan countryside. Periodically the Chippewas cut off access to the sacred American sites in the Twin Cities (Jerusalem). The most sacred site in the divided city is defiled by the Chippewa Chief (Sharon). To stem the flow of weapons and rocket attacks, the Chippewa Nation invades and occupies Ontario (Lebanon) for a couple of decades.
2001-2007: The plight of the Yuppers becomes old news. Meanwhile, in Minnesota more American land is being claimed by the Chippewa settlers. The Chippewas build a wall around the settlements to consolidate their territory and keep out suicide bombers. The wall also severs many Americans from their employment in the Chippewa Nation. The Chippewa Nation re-invades Ontario with a full scale air and ground attack because two (2) Chippewa soldiers were kidnapped at the border. This time the Chippewas take significant casualties and do not achieve clear victory. Yuppers celebrate.
2008-2009: In response to the election of radical Yuppers, the Chippewas periodically block food and fuel from entering the UP. After Michigan closes the Mackinac Bridge, Yuppers smuggle food, fuel and weapons across the Straits by boat. Yupper militia resume random rocket attacks on Chippewa border towns causing serious psychological distress, significant property damage and some fatalities. Elections are approaching in the Chippewa Nation. The ruling party is doing poorly in the polls and has been ever since the Chippewas didn't win the last war in Ontario. It is Christmas Week and the world's is focused on festivities. What better time to attack the Yuppers!
And so it is in the first weeks of 2009 that more than 13 00 Yuppers (Gazans) are killed in the UP (Gaza) while less than 15 Chippewas (Israelis) die. In the early days the Chippewas abided by the Tribal Warfare Accords (Hebrew Code of Hummurabi) regarding proportionate retaliation laid down by the Ojibway Council (Moses in Exodus 2:) "an eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth." No more.
Lowell Klessig is a fifth generation European settler who farms and writes in central Wisconsin. He has visited the UP often but has never been forced to stay there.
Lowell Klessig 934 River Road N Amherst Junction, WI 54407
715/824-2490
Lowell Klessig is Emeritus Professor of Integrated Resource Management at the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. In addition to articles in professional journals, he has authored numerous Extrension publications in non-technical terms for adult audiences. He served as Executive Director of the Wisconsin Rural Leadership Program. He has travelled to 47 countries and taught in six foreign countries. He writes a monthly column for a midwestern weekly newspaper and does occasional magazine features. (A one page bio summary is available electronically upon request.)
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